We were dissed by Santa tonight. Once again, we were discriminated against because we don’t have children…Santa sped out of the neighborhood without even bothering to look at us. Hey, maybe next year the donation letter to the volunteer fire department (hosts o’ Santa) will look like this:
To Whom It May Concern:
Please find enclosed a dollar as our total donation for the year 2007. As you will notice this is significantly less than last year’s donation. This is what happens when Santa doesn’t even bother looking at our house.
Signed,
Evil Frog and Goat
Why are we evil? We just cooked up a batch of this. Our habanero plants produced really hot peppers this year. I once read that if pepper plants have to struggle and suffer they make H-O-T peppers. Our peppers suffered like someone who steps on a pepper and has the liquid squirt into their eye.
The first stir in the microwave had us counting to infinity before the burn ensued. The second go around had us counting to five before we detected heat. The third go around we added more oil and some frozen jalapeños that we just happened to have on hand. After the spin in the microwave we counted until three for the burn. The last time around had me leaning into the microwave cackling. I turned to the better-half and moved my fingers like a mad scientist and said, “this is a mwahahaha moment.” Indeed it was. Burning immediately.
We have a very lethal jar of pepper oil in the refrigerator doing its thing. There’s a slight burn in the air that’s affecting my eyes. Mwahahaha.