When I rule the world, I’m going to take away driver licenses from people who drive big SUVs and can’t keep their mega-mobile in the lane. If it’s too big to control, maybe you shouldn’t drive it.
When I rule the world, I’m going to issue a moratorium on adults who are consumed by cute. After you pass a certain age, you shouldn’t surround yourself with stuffed animals and pillows with cartoon characters. This moratorium does not include spending time watching cartoons just surrounding yourself with that cute crap. Grow up.
When I rule the world, all gnats will have to migrate or die instead of lingering after it gets cold. Out, out damn gnat!
When I rule the world, there will be no complaining about the change of season unless, of course, the season refuses to change. Don’t complain about cold weather, move to the tropics.
What’s your evil plot?
My evil plot will be to make it much harder to get a driver’s license. I’m tired of getting hit by teenage boys who don’t know how to drive mamma’s car.
I’ll also blow up all SUV’s…..I’m not an SUV lover. Get a freaking station wagon, roadhogs!
I’ve been thinking about this for the past couple days and it always comes back to driving offenses for me. It should be a jailable offense to change lanes without a directional. Also, if you are first in line at a red light…pay attention so that we can all go when the light turns green. If you don’t, it’s 90 days in lock-up.
When I rule the world, I am going to revoke speed limits on interstate highways. What the heck, no one obeys them anyway.
I am also going to make a law that in order to pass a new law, you must find one to be revoked (I already revoked one above). Did you ever notice the they keep passing more and more laws, but never seem to revoke any?
When I rule the world, people thay talk on the cell phone while driving 10+ mph below the posted speed limit will lose their licenses.
By the way, I drive a very large suv. I drive it well and it gets better fuel mileage than many sedans on the road. My better half and I go camping, hunting and four-wheel driving. This would not be possible in a honda civic. We are very responsible suv owners and drivers and try to be considerate on the road at all times.
Please don’t damn all suv’s and owners. Just the irresponsible ones.
P.S. I love your blog.
Jet, I have a problem with SUVs (and really any vehicle) that are uncontrolled by their owners. So, when I’m behind the same damn SUV week after week and that idiot rides in the other lane (on a two lane road), he’s an idiot. I do give all Hummers the one finger salute, though. There’s no making nice about those.