This morning whilst cleaning out my junkmail folder I came across two winners in the Spam of the Day™ contest. Please note the wonder of random words (and farm animals) smashed together to entice me to read the rest of the email.
Spam One: 
Spam Two: 
The asshat neighbor cut grass until 11:30pm last night. The better-half walked over there to ask him WTF. The asshat replied he was going on vacation and wanted to get it done. Asshat, here’s some advice…plan your time better.