The Characters and the Scene:
14 year old cat with a terrible attitude
Owner standing at kitchen sink preparing asparagus for dinner
Gazillion year old cat face-planted on kitchen floor (perchance to dream)
The Action:
14 year old cat racing across den floor
Owner catching the cat running out of the corner of her eye
Gazillion year old cat face-planted on kitchen floor (blissfully unaware)
Scene I:
Owner goes into den to see what freaked the cat, finds nothing
14 year old cat crouching in hallway in that way that spells poo-balls
Owner exclaims “Oh No You Don’t”
14 year old cat scampers into guest bedroom and crouches behind rocker
Gazillion year old cat face-planted on kitchen floor (is he in a coma?)
Scene II:
Owner grabs paper towel out of garbage can (she had just put it in there), enters guest bedroom
14 year old cat freaks and runs into dining room
Owner spies poo-ball stuck to cat’s butt
14 year old cat hides under dining room table and makes horrible noises
Owner gets on hands and knees and tries to coax cat out from under table so she can help
Gazillion year old cat face-planted on kitchen floor (zzzzz)
Scene III:
14 year old cat runs downstairs
Owner runs to phone spouse and fill him in on hilarity
14 year old cat crouches under pool table and finally gets poo-ball to detach
Gazillion year old cat face-planted on kitchen floor (sweet sleep)
Scene IV:
Owner hangs up phone and cleans up poo-ball
14 year old cat grudgingly accepts pat on head
Gazillion year old cat face-planted on kitchen floor (drooling?)
Scene V:
Owner pours vodka tonic
Gazillion year old cat face-planted on kitchen floor (zzzzz)
Exeunt.